general news

21.03.2013, 11:58 hrs
Age: 5 Year(s)

Completion of the Elbphilharmonie Delayed by approximately 20 miniature years

First opportunity to survey the botched construction is on March 21st 2013

In accordance with the big counterparts from Berlin-Schönefeld and Stuttgart, there’ll be massive delays in the constructions of the Elbphilharmonie  in Miniatur Wunderland. The contractor ‘Ups & Downs Corp.’ lives up to its name, and set a new record regarding botched construction.
The building site resembles an unprecedented chaos. By now, a rare bird species has colonized the ivy which has overgrown the southernmost wing of the building. And it’s utter ‘ups and downs’ on the base platform. An escalator runs into nothingness, resourceful engineers built a spring board to evacuate the building, a scaffold made of supply lines, with sanitary installations floating in thin air, is standing right in the middle of the construction site, and the glass monster is enthroned everywhere and has grown fat from eating up tons of tax money.
These occurrences have prompted us to terminate our business relations to ‘Ups & Downs Corp.’ with immediate effect. Currently we are looking for another construction contractor. At the moment, our first choice is the ‘Higher & Broader Corp.’ from Berlin-Schönefeld. Unfortunately, we have to conclude, that the completion will be deferred until September this year.

Für richtige Fenster hat das Geld leider nicht mehr gereicht. // Not enough money left for proper windows.

Nur die Raumform eines Schuhkartons würde für eine ideale Akustik im Konzertsaal sorgen. // Only the shape of a shoe carton could effect ideal acoustics in the concert hall.

Aufgrund der Bauverzögerung hat sich eine seltene Vogelart im Grünbewuchs angesiedelt. // Due to the deferral in the construction, a rare bird species has colonized the vegetation.

Neue Fluchtwegskonzepte // Innovative evacuation concepts

Rolltreppe ins Nichts // Escalator into nothingness

Die Baustelle der Elbphilharmonie im Miniatur Wunderland // The Elbe Philharmonic Hall construction site in Miniatur Wunderland

Das Glasmonster frisst inzwischen bereits die Steuerzahler. // Meanwhile, the glass monster is even feeding on tax payers.

Zumindest die Zu- und Ableitungen der sanitären Anlagen sind bereits fertig gestellt. // At least, the supply and draining lines for sanitary installations are laid.